What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
13.06.2025 03:34
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Tuesday Telescope: Lighting, sprites, and airglow over Central America - Ars Technica
She found it foreign!.
Put me off passion for life!!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I was scared of men, in general
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
How do I seduce my sister? (I am an Indian) I want to have sex with her.?
I said to her
Where the ultimate outsiders.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Mormon Wives Come Together for Season 2 Reunion -- But One Major MokTok Member Is Missing! - TooFab
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
What was your best revenge story?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
What makes a woman attractive?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I was very sick at this time too.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Comes on , in middle age.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Mario Kart World is the perfect Switch 2 launch game - The Verge
This is soul school!.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I was 9 years of age.
So, i spoilt her more .
I could never make a relationship work though!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Predator: Killer of Killers Ending Explained - Does It Set Up Prey 2? - IGN
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She loved him until the end.
Who then, do I blame.?
Vandals target Paris Holocaust memorial, synagogues with paint - France 24
She wouldn,t have been !
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Would you raise your children like your parents raised you?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Salmonella outbreak linked to California egg distributor sickens 79 people - NPR
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
But, we were locked up after school.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
It was going to be , some day.
She was in good health!
I was seconnd youngest,
But it wasn’t much.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
We all went to grammer schools
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And i lived it daily.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
One cannot live in the past .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Was to survive, this bastard.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I write beautiful poetry .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I will be 64.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I waited trembling.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
We were not on the streets..
I have no regrets .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I never cut or harmed myself..
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Ive learnt so much.
He knew the spot.
As i do to all so called friends.?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
Would this be the day?
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
My life is so biszare .
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
I don,t even have a pension.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Im still living with it.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I think the readers, may guess!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But ive been too sick for many years..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
So whats the point in blame.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Especially a lifetime of it.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
She married twice! .
My family never makes their pension either.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Why did i forgive my father ?
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
(And it was in our own minds.)
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
When she asked me how she looked .
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
All the time i was locked up.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
What did i know ?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.